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Cohabitation in our tertiary institutions. Updated.

cohabitation for lexhansplace
Couples today cohabit for numerous reasons, ranging from more time together, financial concerns, and fear of the commitment of marriage or fear of divorce. Others slip into it out of convenience, some want to test their compatibility, while still others are actively rebelling against their parents or ethical upbringing. *(crisismagazine)*

How good does it go for tertiary institutions.

Students are sent to the university to learn and make the best of their Education but when the aim turns negative, what do you get in return.

Someone once said a few of these (They wine and dine together, They read and study together, Th3y do basicaly everything together)

Where are the moral values of our youth?

Is this monster called Cohabitation morally right or wrong?

Do we seat back and watch this ugly trend or norms sweep up our youth?

These are a few questions that came up on a discussion board.

A few of these students are likely going to encounter the following in such situations but at the same time I will like to add, if priorities are set right, they should have no problems or negatives to cohabiting.



Domestic violence is set to be a part of such cohabitation. You ask me why? I will tell you.


Knowing how our youth fall prey to emotions and its ups n downs, there is every chance that at one point or the other one may offend the other be it by word's or actions and they wil go straight to taking law's into their hands to violence and not dialogue as clearly majority of them are young and not well taken on the need to allow dialogue to solve a difference.


Psycological Trauma, without saying much in this one in particular, take a leaf from the violence one suffers and come to terms with the trauma that comes with it.


Unwanted Pregnancy. So long they cohabit, they are bound to get intimate time and again, and a lot of them are not well educated on the goods and bads that comes with s3x, at the end some get pregnant as proper s3xual knowledge wasnt given (females).


STD's. Without the knowledge, you can't known how to protect yourself, you cant know who or how to know the infected persons so diseases and infections come into play and a lot of damages comes with this.


Low Academic performances.  Male and Female students that engages in 'Cohabitation' wrongly find it difficult combining studies and other activities perfectly as clearly the above effect creates room for a lot of distraction which in turn brings the low grades and weak academic performance.

Now the big questios are.

1. Is it right or wrong?

2. How can one balance between this? As clearly you can't stop a male and his female friend (lover) from dating.

Please join the discussion and drop those comments in the section below.
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40 comments:

  1. It's is very wrong, it's like been married without the consent of your parents.

    www.miimisdiary.com  


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  2. My opinion is that you should really only live with someone else once you are married. It has actually been shown that couples who cohabitate before marriage have higher divorce rates than those who wait until marriage to live together. It's interesting.

    --Rachel @ Tidy&Teal

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    Replies
    1. You have a strong point there. Thanks for your contribution.

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  3. Well coming from a conservative society, obviously for me this is unacceptable. I think once you sign your marriage papers, the pressure of obligation makes you much more sensible... it is just natural, I guess.

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  4. When you say tertiary institutions, I'm assuming that you mean college and universities. In my experience living in co-ed dorms, none of the above really came into play. There was no violence in the dorms whatsoever...it's not permitted.

    I've also lived in an all female dorm. Regardless of being in a coed dorm or an all female dorm, the rest...STDs, unwanted pregnancy, happened regardless. College is a child's first step into responsibility, living without parental supervision. While RAs do their best to effective, they can't monitor a person 24/7. I, personally, don't feel there is anything wrong with co-ed dorms because of this.

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  5. It is wrong and I agree with your above stated fact.Most victims of heartbreak started from cohabitation.There is no justification with living with a man not your husband.


    Www.bolatitoblog.com

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  6. I don't know.. I think it's bad if they don't have an option. But you can't blame ''cohabitation'' for things like STD's and such. It could happen anywhere.

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    1. thanks for your contribution Howtodiyempire...

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  7. I've been living with my man for years and I'm not so much willing to get married actually. We are happy and I think my kids will be very happy, like the kids of many unmarried friends of mines. I saw so much marriage violence (I frequently work with/for women subject to violence, almost always married) and maybe that's why I don't like the idea of getting married at all. If I'll do one day this will be a civil rite, since I'm not religious but I trust the State and the institutions (the only who can really protect a woman object of violence)

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    1. well said. your happiness and that of your man and kids says it all. Happiness first. thanks for stopping by.

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  8. Interesting read. In India, where I come from the society is still quite conservative. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend is still accepted in many families but living in with them before marriage is looked down upon. In fact, in further conservative families the couples are not allowed to marry outside of caste. We have honour killings for such situation which is a social evil and we are trying to fight it off.

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    Replies
    1. This is deep. Various customs . Am glad I learnt something from your comment here.

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  9. I have to agree with Sabrina, violence can exist with or without co-habitation and personally I don't think its wrong to live with someone who isn't your partner. But that is just my opinion.

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    1. well said Ana. thanks for your contribution.

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  10. Lets just call a spade a spade,i believe we all have a conscience. If your conscience is still alive, it will tell you the right thing to do.

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  11. I feel it's completely wrong. One must cohabitate only after marriage. There are scientific studies stating the very obvious about more break ups when there is cohabitation.

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  12. It might be wrong for somebody, right for others. Who am I to tell is right or wrong? I think each one should be free to do what think it is best.

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    Replies
    1. great contribution Paola. choices matters alot.

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  13. I just want to say that my parent are married for 25 years, and they are not in love nor living together for 11 years. In the same time my boyfriends dad and stepmother who raised him since he was like 3-4 are not married but in love, they live together obviously. I think divorce and violence depends only on the person who are you with and on you as well. You need to know the person before you move in together or marry each other! Funny fact, I just heard on the news that some woman was abusing her husband, he was in bruises, she chaised him with a knife... Horrible!

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    1. your parents are really strong, only a few can cope and still be the way they are, your boyfriends side of it also says alot... now the woman who abuses er husband though. alot to answer to.

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  14. i believe it's definitely important live together before getting married. and it's also a good idea to live with other people that your own family for a certain time to see how you act with others.

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    1. in essence, spending time together to know more about eachother.. is that your say Tiina?

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  15. I may say there is nothing right and wrong, because cohabitation is a matter of choice. Some find it taboo, others don't depends on what you believe and your culture. Hence, still its a matter of responsible choice. Cohabitation is kind of practical way not only for compatibility, but also economically. That's why both parties should have an open communication for one other, coz this kind of agreement is consensual.

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    1. Communication is key from what you said. Thanks for this.

      Delete
  16. I think its great to cohabit ate after marriage, but what works for me doesn't always work for others. I think its very dependant on the individuals in the relationship xx

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  17. Thanks for bringing to light an important issue in society today, especially for the younger generation. It's a decision that needs to be carefully thought through.

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    1. careful decision making comes to mind on this and you pointing it out is a good one.

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  18. Thank you for this post. I am a believer that all things are possible. With 7 billion people in the world currently, there is always going to be an example or story to prove any possibility. Therefor, I have no doubt that the situations and outcomes you describe clearly do happen. There is also a greater cultural context to consider here. In a place where, as subhadrika sen said above, honor killings can possibly happen for such cohabitation acts, then clearly it would be very dangerous to engage in this. However, in places like the US, Canada, Europe, Australia, and many other places, cohabitation among friends or lovers before marriage is quite normal and often viewed by all parties (including parents and future lovers) as a preferable living arrangement. I am male and I have had many female roommates. I have never been intimate in any way with any of them. Thy often felt safer for having a male roommate, their parents liked that they had a guy nearby, and their lovers at the time or later on never perceived me as some sort of threat to their relationship. But cohabitation is just more accepted in these countries for a wide range of other reasons.

    All that said, I think that there can be good thing that come from cohabitation with friends or lovers of another gender, it just depends on the people, the situation, and sometimes the society.

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    1. Thank you so very much Judson for your response on this, i seem to agee with all the comments on this post and am glad you clearly gave a wide explanation on your reasons. thanks for stopping by.

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  19. Coming from a traditional but modern Indian home this is not something my family would approve of. I personally would not feel secure knowing the person could up and leave at any point.

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    1. The feeling of upping and leaving at an point is scarry. Thanks for stopping by.

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  20. My opinion is that cohabitation has done wonders for young people everywhere. It's always better to live with friends first I think, then with a partner. Marriage can come later.. it's the 21st century!

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    1. well said, i like how you have been able to fix these points directly in together.

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